The Most Important Qualities in a Book Boyfriend
This was my prompt suggestion! While I’ve talked several times about book boyfriends before and how I’m not all that into them, the prompt came up again this summer, so I thought to myself, “What are the things that make a book boyfriend a book boyfriend? Why is he a book boyfriend?”
I am just as interested in others’ answers as I am in my own. I think I’m very, very picky and selective in giving this highly-esteemed title of book boyfriend.
After years of reflection of my own failed engagement, I realized the primary reason: I was too mature, and he was not at all. Now that I am with a man who is a true partner, I see the difference in so many ways. Maturity isn’t just being “grown up” and playing house. Having maturity helps you see the world in a different light, and I think it helps bring out compassion, empathy, and perspective in others. It helps us resolve our own past and helps set the groundwork for a better, more positive future. I’ve always believed maturity comes with independence and doesn’t mean you have to have a partner to feel complete.
Openness & Acceptance
Another thing with my failed engagement was the ability to be open and also to accept – accept himself for all the things he was, and accept me for all the things I was. These two qualities lower the effective filter and allow us to be vulnerable with another individual. This can sometimes be a struggle, especially if you’ve been burned before, but it allows you to fully express yourself. You have nothing if you can’t fully be open about who you are, what you believe in, what your fears are, how you feel about someone else, and how you feel about a situation.
Honesty & Integrity
Honesty helps lower the effective filter and allows you to be open. It also builds trust – a bridge than is tenaciously built and can burn down in only seconds. There is nothing like the feeling of betrayal and deception. It can be devastating. To be honest, you also have to have integrity. The old saying “Actions speak louder than words” is so true. I firmly believe that your actions and your word and your actions should always match up.
Respect is the non-monetary equivalent of value – value in a another person. At least, that’s what I believe. When you respect someone, it also means you accept them in the form they are. You don’t look for the negative, you embrace the positive. You appreciate others, and it helps build and strengthen your relationship.
I’m a fairly affectionate person, and that’s also something I need in a partner, so I look for that quality in a book boyfriend. The physical, emotional, and verbal affection all work together. I think this goes hand in hand with respect and honesty and allows you to be more open and affectionate. I don’t know how a relationship without affection will thrive.
Sense of Humor
Life isn’t enjoyable without laughter. And who better to enjoy it with than your partner? Laughter helps you live longer, and who better to live longer with?